Monthly Archives: September 2009

Ramblings of an insomniac: Número tres

Her smile I saw first, pearly whites aligned. A purple hoodie she had on, her arms wrapped around herself trying to keep some of that warmth she got from hugging the heater back home. Black army boots, stomping her foot showing her assertive side. As much as she hid herself from the world, she shone in mine. A tiny filament, with electricity running through her; she lit up my empty dark box. The girl in purple I called her then. The girl in purple, now my memories return.

She walked, head up, hair tied in a pony tail; “I’m not a girl, I’m a woman” it entailed. Milk white skin, a freckle here, a freckle there; just like memories in every star I told you, spread across the sky I stared as I went home. The rain would come, she’d hide out in the open space. Yes, she’d hide out in the open space, under the purple hoodie, arms tighter now, eyes up to God as she praises his blessing. Talks to the cloud, watches them cry. I look up and praise the Lord now, but now it does not rain so I cry.

Her notebook she clutches, tight to her bosom. Never late for class, her enthusiam alluring. Watches, learns and smiles. Those pearly whites, flash again so bright, I couldn’t take it; in a frame I hold it now. My box now filled, with purple, but my electric bills I have not payed yet. I fumble in the dark.

The corner,right under the trees. The reastaurant, at the end of the street. The lamp post at the end of that scary road. The pool table, a soda can on the side. The stationary shop, at the top of the stairs; I visited too much. I walk, I walk past.

Words, words are never enough. Actions, also never enough. Emotions, feelings, heart, mind, body and soul. Always and forever, enough.

I light 2 matches, the third I keep unlit. A sweater I put on, that sweet scent underneath.


It’s 6:09 a.m. and I sit restless in this internet cafe typing away at a two dinar keyboard and listening to cheesy latin music. I couldn’t sleep, got up and walked. I couldn’t write, I was too angry to write. What was I mad about, I now forget. I count to 10, 20, 100 now. I count to a million and I see it all in purple. No red, no black, no pink, no white and no shades. Pure purple now I see. The weather outside is amazing. Watching the sun rise turning the sky an array of colors. Blue, pink, orange and yes, purple. I smile.


I close my eyes now. [I actually did close my eyes for a second]. I see the freckles. I see the stars. I see.

The sun’s still shy.


Filed under Personal, Random thoughts

I sit here


I sit here and I smile, I smile because I know.

I know who I want, what I want and how I’m going to get it.

I know who I am, who I really am, inside and out.

I’m not scared of anything but God himself.

Jesus Christ is in my heart and he’s always around.

I pray for me, for you and for everyone I love.

I pray for peace, serenity and the tides to cool down.

I smile and I sit here, you know why I smile.


Filed under Personal

Anywhere but here

I wait all night, I wait all day.

I wait while I pray.

I wait while I shower and even when I play.

I wait, I wait.

The sun doesn’t shine, it’s just bland and colorless.

The moon reflects nothing but the sour anguish.

The earth doesn’t rock, my world nor hers.

I don’t want to live forever, I want my stairway to heaven.

Paradise, a place on Earth.

In her arms, where I remember last.

Cuddled, safe, purple and content.


Filed under Personal

Not just another music post


I love discovering new music. What grabs my attention is definitely not the mainstream crap that millions of people out there listen to. Rap is now explicitly based on alcohol,cars and women, when it used to be out life [back in the good ol’ days, 3a ayam Eminem ow Tupac]. [Speaking of Eminem, I encourage everyone to listen to Beautiful for Eminem, a very good song]. Rock has no meaning anymore. HipHop is well, Kanye West apparently so, yeah, good luck with that *thumbs up*.

After my obsession with Mashour3 Leila, I have now gone back to some good ol’ classic rock. A little bit of Beatles and Stones,a little bit of Queen and Zeppelin. Now, the music discovery lies in this [short] conversation with my friend while driving on Sheikh Zayed Road.

[Stairway to heaven was playing in the background]

KJ: “Walak have you heard Gregorian before?”

5hadz: “Nope. Same3ni”.

KJ: *Fumbles the iPhone and nearly drops it while driving*, *click*, *play*.

My friends, this is a little taste of who Gregorian are:


Click here to see all other music that Gregorian [Masters of Chant] cover.

Gregorian is a German band, headed by Frank Peterson, which performs Gregorian chant-inspired versions of modern pop and rock songs. Because it features both vocal harmony and instrumental accompaniment, the music cannot be considered true Gregorian chant.

Gregorian is a German band, headed by Frank Peterson, which performs Gregorian chant-inspired [watch the word inspired ahh (see red note below)] versions of modern pop and rock songs. Because it features both vocal harmony and instrumental accompaniment [giggles to Achmed’s musical accompaniment], the music cannot be considered true Gregorian chant. I don’t think it’s supposed to anyway, but yeah yalla itfalsafo.

What is Gregorian chant you may ask? Well God bless Wikipedia, here you go : Gregorian Chant.

My new obsession is Gregorian:Masters of chant. I have 7 albums for them ow sahreen lal inhar basma3 feehom :D. Queen fans, coldplay fans, Zeppelin fans, Amy Lee fans, rejoice. It’s all in their albums. If anyone wants specific songs tell me so I can give you them via email.

[Oksim billah if anyone comments on this post and tells me ino hada kofor iyroo7 izet 7alo bil zbale. Allah iy5aleelna Rotana eli bet7oteli a3’ani 3an the prophet when THAT is clearly kofor, fa ma 7ada yetfalsaf. You don’t like the music just leave.]


Filed under Links, Music

The Dubai Metro

If you know me well, you know that I’m not such a big fan of Dubai’s spending habits. The only reason I come back here every vacation is because of my family. I have expressed my opinion one too many times on the millions spent aimlessly to satisfy rich business men’s hotels of choice, simply because they believe they “require” that level of luxury. That “stupidity” is what I believe brought Dubai to the level it is at right now. One thing I definitely don’t think is a waste of millions, BILLIONS of Dirhams is the Dubai Metro.

After two failed attempts to ride the metro the first week it started running, due to overcrowding where apparently a whopping 76,000 people rode the metro the first day it ran, we finally got to ride the metro. The reason I fell in love with the metro was because it’s affordable [much cheaper than taxis or buses] and once all the stations open up it will save lots of people the hassle of the notorious Dubai traffic. It also means less cars on the roads, less accidents and less pollution [Green Peace, rejoice]. It’s fantastically designed, where the metro cars are driverless and really safe to ride. To find out more about the Dubai Metro, click here. 

Me and my brother got a hands-on experience with the metro [more like goofing around :P] and we captured it on video. Viewer beware, the videos you are about to see are NOT professional and only show a tiny amount of the metro, but they were really fun to tape and edit on my laptop 😛 so check them out if you’re bored and want to see what the Dubai Metro looks like up close:

Step 1: Getting to the Metro Station.

Step 2: Getting underground to the Metro Carts.

Step 3: Taking a ride on the Metro.

Step 4: Getting back home.


Filed under Dubai, Funny

Life is but a dream

As a twenty year old man, the roads I have ahead of me are plenty. Roads come with decisions and which one do I take, that I don’t always know. I was out with my parents today and we had a little argument in the car. I was telling them about my plans for the future, in terms of studying and elective courses in the US, and one thing led to another and we were talking about my future career after graduation.

I’m a true believer in helping others, and by that I mean giving my time to make the less fortunate feel better. I believe in volunteering and I don’t care for material return because to me, a smiling man, woman or child is gain enough. I know I sound cliche, but I’ve never had a materialistic view of life. I live a happy life and I am fortunate enough to have two wonderful parents who almost always give me what I want. They always work and sacrifice for me and my brothers and now that I’ve hit 20 years old, I realize it is time to give back as much as I’d gotten over the years.

Over the past few years, particularly since I started studying in Jordan, I’ve had my views changed on many ideas of my life. My origin, Palestine, has grown deeper into my heart and memory. My career, medicine, has become a part of me and has changed the way I treat others. My experiences with everyone I’ve gained or lost during my 3 years at college has shaped me in various ways.

The discussion with my parents brought up issues on life, and how hard it is to make it on your own now. This is a small part of it, it went something like this:

Dad: I wish that you guys would be able to achieve in just 5 years what took me 25 years to achieve.

Me: Yeah, I don’t care for money.

Dad: Oh so you think that your skills are how you’re going to help people, and then what?

Me: Dad, I don’t care la for money wala for fancy cars. All I want to do is help people.

Dad: I’m not saying you should go out and buy everything fancy, bas bokra lama tefta7 mostashfa, instead of asking 10K for this specific operation you’d only ask for 6K.

Me: Yeah, that’s not the type of audience I want to reach.

Dad: And what do you want?

Me: My view is further than people in my community, further.

Mom: Ya3ni sho bidak itroo7 3ala Darfur.

Me: Yeah, why not? Why not Palestine too. I want to work with the UN.

Mom: And what about your kids, your wife? Ma itjebelhom ishi?

Me: They’d have to understand that my life is not mine when I become a physician.

Mom: Yeah, good luck getting married.

Me: If my wife can’t understand that, then balaha, baseer 5oori.

Mom: Bokra ibtekbar ow ibtet3’ayar.

Me: My views on life will never change.

*Then we walk into the mall*

Hala2 when you’re 20, you see life differently than your parents would. I want to be free like a bird, able to speak my mind about everyone and everything. Sacrificing my life to help others is something that I always think about, can it easily be done? Don’t I want a family too? A lovely wife and two lovely kids? The conversation with my parents was one where I was talking out of my heart and not my mind. I know how passionate I am about helping others and that made me block out everything else in life. I know that one day I want to have a family and right now I’m passionate about much more than I can handle in one lifetime.

Bokra bakbar, zay ma galat mama.

The human race is greedy, ow as good as we are, it’s impossible not to think of yourself. It’s very important to be happy and it’s very important to be satisfied with who you are as an individual because that will affect everyone else around you and everyone close to you. I’m not saying I want the best clothes, and the best cars, and a gigantic house, I just want to be happy so that I can help others around me, and in our modern world, achieving both at once is not an easy task. To have a family you need to think of your wife and kids first, before yourself. To be a physician you have to put your patients before yourself. My career path is not an easy one, and it’s one I chose myself, so if you’re a fellow physician you understand the roads that are up ahead for us.

For now, I’m twenty and I want to enjoy being twenty. I live my life, day by day, enjoying every moment, gasping every breath fully for myself, to shape myself into the best person so that I can be the best person for my family and those I want to help.


Filed under Life, Personal


My faith in God has withheld the test of time, and day by day it grows stronger. It grows stronger because I allow myself to give in to the incomprehensible, and say mashallah. Most people always ask for a sign, and fail to believe or hold on to something unless they see a sign. Signs are reassuring, and yes, they do give you a certain feeling of happiness, for the Lord was seen through something tangible, a sign. I don’t see signs a lot, maybe it’s because I don’t look for them , or maybe it’s because I believe in something that I hold in my heart and I don’t need to be expressed physically. I believe, I cry, I feel and I have faith in the person that created me and my peers, and the He is always there.

I write of faith today, because that’s all I’ve had to keep me going in the past month or so. I live my days now, day to day, enjoying them to the maximum and all the while my sub-conscience still holds on to that part of me that never seems to leave. I don’t want it to leave. I believe.



And ask of the stars your desires

And stare them in the face

Ask of the stars your desires

Stare them in the face

And millions of miles

And galaxies away

Resides, your wish awaits.

And of the stars I asked one

I picked it out of the sky

I asked it of my wish

And with brutal truth it replied

Your wish is too far away

Don’t you see how far we are

You mere mortals must but learn

Shoot for the stars

You hit but sky

So I stared it in the face

And with anger I replied

I shot for Him not you

I shot for His sky

His sky that is my sky

In which you plain reside

He tosses you but about

A shooting star, then I see

That with which I know

My God, is true to me

He threw you about

Now my wish comes true

My God, is true to me.


Filed under Personal, Religion