It’s 5 a.m. and for the second day in a row, I cannot sleep. The same thoughts that crossed my mind yesterday, cross it as we speak and I share with you, my readers, part II of the sofa-bed thoughts, namely: “Happiness Within”.
For the past 3 months I’ve struggled with many things, and at the same time discovered many things. It has been a time of change, maturity and independence as well as a time of sorrow, sadness and pain. What does not kill you makes you stronger, but they forget to mention the part where it stings like a bitch. Yet here I am, happy although troubled; smiling although hurting. I am this way because I chose to be, I want to be. I am happy because I’ve discovered that you are happy when you are happy with who you are and what you do, not hung up on the whole world. You are happy when you chose to be. You smile when you chose to, it’s your face, is it not?
Happiness sprouts from within you and only you can control it. No one can make you happy, because no one owns your feelings. You are the proud owner of happiness, mercy, compassion, pleasure and love. You are the proud owner of greed, jealousy, sloth, rage and hate. You are the proud owner of feelings, good and bad. We all have both feelings inside of us and it is up to you to bring out what you want.
I speak of happiness because I know what it’s like to be sad. I know what it’s like to chose feelings based on what happens around you, when you forget about yourself. Take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself a few questions. Am I breathing and alive? Do I have the minimum human needs of shelter, food, water and clothing? Has God blessed me with a brain to think right? Do I have friends and family, whether they’re in the 100’s or just 1? Seek happiness not in others, but in yourself. Look deep inside and ask yourself if you can be happy with who you are, not with what others want you to be.
My answer to all of the above questions is yes, and they should be for most of you that can fortunately use a computer and read this. It’s not the same for lots of people out there, but you are reading this right now with electricity in your house, food on your table and clothes on your back. You are reading this and thinking whether you are happy or not. You are reading this and at the end you will realize, that you all have the power to smile and be happy with yourselves.
Seek happiness in yourself, and only then can you live happily. For the married couple, for the people in relationships, for the people who are single. For those who await hope of new love, for those who await hope of rekindling an old flame, for those who await recovery of a broken heart, I say smile.
I was this close to crying, right before I went to get my laptop and write this post, but then I held my hand across my chest and asked myself the questions aforementioned. I await the future but I live the present, and I find happiness in myself. No amount of jealousy, anger or guilt will help me through my route. I sat and asked myself is Shadi was happy and he was. Are you?
[I might have repeated a lot of ideas throughout this post and I know it’s far from organized but give me a break it’s 6 o’clock in the morning.]