Ramblings of an insomniac : Número Uno


It’s 6 o’clock in the morning and my stupid brain just won’t turn off. It won’t shut off so I write:

Thoughts rushing about, a highway and traffic lights seem to all be green. I’m surrounded by walls though and everything seems to be quiet again. I stand up and walk and then fall. I’m paralyzed from the waist beneath. Thoughts trapped above and body dead below. Do you know what I’m going through?

They say the past lies somewhere behind us, carved in stone. You cannot change it, yet we look back. Mistakes, lead us to consequences, lead us to eternal regret or do we work to change. Change the past, we said it’s carved and yet we take out our picks and our axes, and we scratch the surface as we smash on that rock of memory.

We are born wet, naked and crying and we strive to dry, clothe and smile. We strive to find a way around the sun and the darkness. What we have we do not enjoy, we ask for more, we grow materialistic, we get what we need and we want what we cannot have and we strive. We are the same, we are unique, we are who we are, it’s all the same.

Jews, Christians, Muslims, Buddhist, Hindus and Atheists we know nothing alike. We speculate, we pray, we eat, we sleep, we grow and yet we don’t, alike. We know not of the God, not of the sea, not of the land nor of ourselves, we know nothing, we are all alike. We help, we create, we build we demolish; savages, we are all alike. Built from the same DNA we share one ancestor, we share the ancestry of time.

Time is fast, it runs around the yard but tires not and we tire. We tire and we sleep and we waste and we stroll and we run and we jog and we jump and we say, we say our time is precious and we do not know. The clock strikes the hour, we look, we say. Time is of the essence, what essence I say.

Love is never lost, never lost we say. In our hearts you stay, my country, my family, my brother and my sister. My God, your God, to whom we most pray. Come down from there, she yells at her child, you’ll get hurt she says. She loves, she does, her child, her seed, her only dismay, he goes, he plays and she find him not another day. Another women, another life, maybe death awaits.

Life is but a rainbow, made of stars and life you say. Life is dark and pungent with the smell of wrath and evil and flowers you say? He loves, she loves, life loves the same way. You smile, we smile, the toothless grandpa must be jealous, his gums don’t give what your teeth embellish. You are greedy, you are jealous, what say he who have nothing. Yet he says thank you for what he is given. You selfish bastard, you rot, you die, we will eventually some day? Wish death upon me for being what I am, a human, with feelings and you say you are the same.

Run little man, save what’s left of the day. You are not who I am, you’ll never be the same. Life is but a mystery. Love is but a step away. Time is almost over. Religion is in the eye of the beholder. We are born and then we die. The past happens every day.

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17 Comments

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17 responses to “Ramblings of an insomniac : Número Uno

  1. the bff

    ummm.. wow.. not much of an eye opener as we have these thoughts constantly going through our minds every day… atleast I do, but you my friend, are right..

  2. Ali

    Dude you really should write a book or something, This is fucking awesome, I’m really out of words!

  3. I can never reply to such a post! No one can! That is something beyond everyone of us!
    Keep struggling! Keep engulfing life!
    It’s good to get it out of your system!
    Nothing I can say, really!
    Only that I’m happy, no more than happy… I’m blessed that I got to know you!

  4. No matter what it is, the answer is the same, it only matters about how you use what you have. You will make it through, I promise you, and you will be okay.

    You know I’m here for you. I know what you’re going through. You will make it. Time is a perspective, yet it is in truth existing and it does show its effects on everything.

    Take care, man.

    Well… you better take care.

  5. KJ

    Wad3ak a93ab mn wad3i, but I have to say I am enthralled by this piece of writing!

    Do stay up more and write like this. The stuff I write at 5 AM can’t be published!

  6. The BFF: This post, and my 2 sofa-thoughts posts are solely for your interpretation as a reader. You understood this the exact same way I thought about it when I wrote it because we’re both going through the same shit. To another person, it can mean a whole different thing. Catch you online later today.
    Ali: I love your emphatic comments, glad my stuff is getting to you. Tweet me on that Hertz interview, sho sar ma3ak?
    Zeina: Thank you dear :), the pleasure was all mine.
    Saed: I shall take care my friend, and time will be on my side if all goes well. It will lead me to the place I want to be, with the right people standing next to me. Thank you for being one of those people. I hope I can have all the people I want standing next to me real soon. *lofe*
    KJ: Deerli balak 3ala “uno”, ya3ni fi 3’ero. Dude, fi drafts ow sha3’lat 3al iPhone lisa a5ra min the note you showed me 😛 ya ma ta7t el sawahi dawahi. Call me soon wala!

  7. Abdullah

    🙂 o bass 😉 good job bro…

  8. Wesam

    Yes you should write a book !!
    I really have nothing to say just keep them coming , waiting for more .
    I am amazed 🙂

  9. M

    WOW.
    A late one, but a WOW nonetheless.

  10. I love this post of yours. Frankly, it beats the thoughts on the sofa bed.

    What’s with you and insomnia, btw?

  11. It does beat that sofa-bed thoughts, I thought so too.
    I don’t know man, I’ve been stressed lately, I guess.

  12. Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. 🙂 Cheers! Sandra. R.

  13. Thank you Sandra :), now I expect you to be a regular visitor and commenter 😛 Cheers!

  14. Pingback: Ramblings of an insomniac: El número dos « Yameen-Shmal : يمين – شمال

  15. Pingback: Ramblings of an insomniac: Número tres « Yameen-Shmal : يمين – شمال

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