Underwear is a fascinating item of clothing, and literally, the closest thing to you. Think about it, what else cuddles your privates almost 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? [For those who enjoy going commando, I salute you]. Nothing can be more loyal, taking your crap and dirt on a regular basis with merely the privilege of rotating in a washing machine with your fabric softener.
Let’s start with the male underwear. Be it briefs or boxers, we tend to scratch our testicles on a regular basis. Your underwear receives the dead skin, falling pubic hair and sweat on a regular basis. [Yes, I realize this is a bit too graphic so I’ll stop here :P]. Same thing goes for the rear, with the addition of fecal material that we’ve all gotten surprised at one point to find stained on our underwear. Yes, our underwear is the most item that literally “takes our shit”, and for that we should honor it.
As usual, females are always more trouble. With the addition of the filth mentioned above, every month your panties have to get ready for your period. That’s a tough job, and it’s not fair for your panties. The one that suffers the most is the one you’re wearing on the onset of your menstrual attack. Poor thing doesn’t even get a chance, directly ambushed by gushing blood, only to be taken off and laid to rest on the bathroom floor, like a wounded solider.
We move on now to the G-string. Ohh yes, the most unhygienic of underwears. These exist for both genders [the male g-string I still don’t get, but whatever]. So, to put it simply, this is a straight line-shaped piece of clothing covering your anus. Coming in direct contact with your sphincter! Eww much? So yes, g-string wearers, you must all bow down to the G.
In conclusion, I suggest we all honor the underwear by celebrating, on this day, the 28th of November, the “كلسون داي” or the “underwear day”.