The power of a positive mind teaches self-fulfillment, the acceptance of who you are at any one time. Look at yourself at this point in time, forget the past and forget what you aspire to be; this is who you are. You are not a human, you are a soul disguised as a human being carrying out your daily chores. You are a soul, a free form of energy, floating in the atmosphere of power, subsided by nothing but your ego. Your ego is your most powerful enemy. An entity unlike no other, it masks your authenticity. Call it fear, pride, vanity; call it what you will call it, it will enslave you either/or.
Being positive is not about unicorns and rainbows, pooping butterflies or winning the lottery. Being positive is about having the ability to say: “I am happy.” Regardless of where you are, what you own, who you know and where you go; being positive is a state of reality. You often wonder if you’re happy, what happiness means, how do you achieve it. We look for answers beyond ourselves because we believe what we want is something intangible. “I’m going to travel to *insert ostentatious name of domination* because nothing I want is here.” Bullshit will travel with you, it’s not offered by one place of residence and omitted from another. You can live in the middle of the desert or on the plains of the Dominican Republic and still be as happy as a child who receives a lollipop when he’s been frantically begging for candy. Being positive is a state of mind, if you don’t have it, build it.
I hate following rules, following agendas, following a series of steps but somehow the human race has conformed to the fallacy of regulation so I will adopt this misconception for the greater good. I do not intend to spill out a list of demands, a guideline if you may say, to the means to reach happiness but I will place a few points that have always gotten me through the roughest of times. I am no preacher, no saint, no God and no philosopher but I am a simpleton who believes he can change the word. Call me a dreamer but I know that I am happy because of how I live my life.
1. There is no secret to happiness.
It’s true, there is no secret to achieving happiness, you just work hard at it. I don’t mean you have to work hard to get to that point called “happiness”, because that point does not exist. To me, happiness is sustaining a balance of the four identities of your own personal being: Emotionally, Physically, Psychologically & Energy-bound. Your own perception of happiness is the best and only real way to smile from the inside, out.
2. Your energy is for you to control.
Imagine your energy as a container filled with a unstable material. At any one point the substance may become volatile, evaporate into thin air, lessening the volume. At another point your energy might overflow, react, top it’s maximum level and eventually become too much to handle. The balance of your energy is a song played best solo. Adopt your own path to the renewal of your energy container. How? Again, that’s for you to find out. People, books, other people’s experiences can only help you so much, you have to figure out what makes you tick, what tops up and what empties your container of energy.
3. Never be afraid to vent.
Venting is a normal human experience, a politically correct term for “bitching”; we all do it and we all feel better, a load lifted off our shoulder. We don’t actually abolish the problem, but bottling up is not our better option. Bitching doesn’t bring any negative energy into your life, neither does it make you a negative person. Getting rid of the clutter in your brain, rearranging the garbage to make the shit look better. You’re just bringing order to chaos, if that makes any sense to you. Vent, bitch, let it out, but never wait for a solution. The solution is yours to figure out, the other side is only a means to listen, not offer solutions. [This is if you’re on the other side of the phone.]
4. If something’s not right, drop it.
You’re playing with a tennis ball, tossing it up and down. The tennis ball catches on fire by means of Satan’s evil magic, and you drop the ball, play with it no more. It’s as simple as that, if something hurts you, let it go. By hurt, I encompass everything from a person you can’t get over, to a friend who stabbed you in the back and right down to the jerk who cuts you off in traffic. Each and every person or event that causes you the least bit of an energy imbalance towards negativity, is not worth spending more energy on. Your energy container is turning volatile [Wala3at el 6ase] and you’re expending more energy in the wrong direction. Always channel your energy into that of which the return is good, great or null. Never into something that will put you down.
5. You are only as strong as you tell yourself you are.
Motivation is a self-extinguishing fire. A fire that dies out when you don’t feed it, or feed it inappropriately. Do not feed your motivation vanity, it will not flourish. Do not feed your motivation lies, it will only last it so long. Feed your motivation more motivation, build your fire from a stick and keep throwing in sticks till you’re up to a bonfire. “You are only as strong as you tell yourself you are.” Try it, wake up every single day, take a deep breath and tell yourself: “I am strong.” Tell yourself: “I am happy.” You are the strongest person, regardless of whether a stronger person is standing right next to you. I burst my ego bubble when I figured out that I am always going to find someone smarter and stronger than I am. You, compared to no body but yourself, are number one.
6. Do not be afraid of being alone.
Enjoying the company of yourself is a gift, an ability not all of us possess. When you learn to accept that you can have dinner on your own, go out by yourself, take yourself out then you have achieved an essential part of happiness. Believing that you need someone there to be happy or have fun, is believing that you are not complete. No one completes you, that’s a Disney fallacy portrayed by rolling credits after a “They lived happily ever after” marquee. You are complete, because you are one. One is a complete, well rounded number. Two is a pair, a couple, so you’re only complete if you can become one. Here’s an exercise I’ve come to love: Once a month, or week, whatever sounds more sane to you, take yourself out to dinner and a movie. Treat yourself, let your soul take out your body and have a wonderful time. Don’t be afraid of people staring at the “man eating alone” or the “woman watching a movie by herself”, for in reality, the above two acts are not supposed to involve other people. I visit a restaurant to eat, not chat, that’s my only purpose. I don’t need a partner at the movies, the irony in shushing a loose whisper after you chatter the initial trailers away with your buddy. Being alone is accepting that you are happy with yourself, nothing is needed to complete you.
I’m not trying to lecture anybody. Half of those who started reading this article pressed the magic “X” half way through it because it was too “long and philosophical”. I’m not preaching nor offering happiness, I’m trying to share a piece of my mind, my two cents on my personal experience of being happy.
Always smile, work in teams and always learn to accept criticism, it’s the only thing that builds your character, be it positive or negative. The second you learn to turn the negative into positive, you learn to take life as it’s supposed to be, sweet and simple.