God, I really don’t remember the last time I sat on my laptop and typed something other than a pediatrics lecture or searched up a Wikipedia page on something similar. Anyway, I’m going to try to blog something every now and then, but for now, I want you guys to listen to this amazing song by Jason Mraz, called “Details in the fabric”. It’s a beautiful song and the lyrics are really deep, if you can relate to it then enjoy it :).
Category Archives: The start ’09
So there’s the way I play stairway to heaven on my guitar
There’s the way Jimmy Page plays it on his guitar
Then there’s this guy : Stanley Jordan
All I can say is I had my mouth wide open the entire time.
My first week as a 4th year medical student is almost over and I am sleep-deprived, exhausted, hungry and confused. Everything is new to me now that I started my clinical practice. This first week is basically 25 lectures covering a whole clinical examinations book. The 25 lectures are spaced out over 5 days where each lecture takes a little over an hour. The lectures are given by mean ass surgeons and doctors who basically don’t give a fuck whether we get the information or not. It’s a whole new experience. Not to mention that I’m now forced to dress formally to the hospital, shirt and tie and what not. Basically the reason I haven’t blogged in a week is because I wake up at 6:30 a.m. and shower, then go to school and attend lectures till 4 p.m. I write lecture notes at the speed of 1,000 words a second just to be able to catch up with the idiot who treats us like we’re actually physicians and require us to know every disease in the world. Fourth year is a busy, busy year with a huge amount of stress and responsibility. Not to mention my oh-so-kind-heart that additionally accepted an assistant research position with a few fellow medical students, where we’ve been working for 3 days on a Breast Cancer survey. Running around all over Irbid getting women over 40 to answer a questionnaire that takes almost 30 minutes to complete. I go home every night at almost 10 p.m, once even at 12:30 a.m. So basically, wake up at 6 and sleep at 11 pm with nothing in between but constant running around and cramming my brain with all sorts of physical examinations I’m going to perform on real patients this sunday throughout.
The good thing though is, that through this hassle, I have little time to reflect on things that once kept me up all night. Sure, I have some free time but I spend it over with the guys to keep my head far, far away. As I write now, I reflect.
I know how much my posts have been depressing lately, and because of that I shall adopt the same thing I do while in class. When one of my depressing subjects come to mind, I just concentrate even more on what I’m doing (listening and taking down notes in that case) and allow my reflections to lie in my pages.
“I dream of a day…”
I wrote a whole lot more than the above quote, which is just the first 5 words of a paragraph I now flip into my yellow pages. I flip it back with my stained sheets, my letters ink-blotted by tears. I flip it back with my heart, my memories. I flip it back…
It’s impossible for me to fake a mood, be someone I’m not or fake a feeling I feel. It’s impossible, be it through my actions, my writings or my face. When I’m sad you can see it, and when I smile at you or make you laugh when I’m pissed off it’s because I flip my yellow pages again, and revisit them when I want to. I am who I am. I’ll never be a character I’m not, live a life I promised never to live, leave my morals or code behind. I flip it all back now…
Don’t be someone you’re not. Don’t live a lie. Don’t pretend that things are okay just to get through the day, because at the end of that day you’re going to end up alone, regretting that phone call you didn’t make, that offer you didn’t take, that message you didn’t relate. Wake up.
I got this comment today from a girl who regularly reads my blog and I thought she made some damn good points, along with some totally irrelevant ones :P. Her comment was in reply to a really old post of mine, Let’s just knock off the O, shall we ?. I really liked her reply and I’d like to share it with everyone else who reads my blog. Thank you Zeina for the comment (even though it’s longer than my actual post).
[If you haven’t read this post yet, click on it’s name to read it before you go on reading Zeina’s comment.]
- Zeina says:
As a new found man, I reflect upon the last 3 years of college life and wonder who I was, who I’ve become and who I aspire to be. Once upon a time, I was the nerdy little Choueifat student, who was thrown into the wilderness (Jordan University of Science and Technology), literally :P. I was shoved into a world were I knew no one, and it was tough. Over the past 3 years I’ve gained a lot, lost a lot, but what really matters is still here, myself. My heart, my passion, my goal, my love and my mind are the things that have not changed.
I don’t mean that everything else has changed, but my character has been altered to a certain extent. Let’s call it adaptation. Living in Jordan is far more difficult than living in Dubai. College life is tougher than high school. Living alone is by far the hardest shift. All three changes to my life that have sculptured a rather better man than I used to be. My basic characteristics of being an ass are still there, but I’ve learnt more in the past 3 years than my whole 17 years in Dubai. Come to think of it, I’ve learnt more in the past month than I’ve ever learnt before. I am no longer the hot-headed ass I used to be and I’ve learnt to become more responsible. The reason is largely attributed to a personal experience that I’d rather not share here, but most of you who read my blog have an idea what I am referring to. Other than that, I have been coordinating a diabetes campaign run by my university’s hospital, so I’m busy almost 23 hours a day. I’ve been working my ass off trying to show my superiors that I am a dependable leader, and it’s been going great. I’ve gotten compliments off the wazo, and I feel more mature than ever before! I’m also doing a lot of volunteer work, especially with children. Operation Smile being one of them and the Dubai Autism Center hopefully after my summer course. Working and helping the less fortunate has really had an effect on my character, and I feel like a new man already. I’m also still playing the guitar in my spare time.
The idea of this post is just self-motivation. I’ve been so down lately, some days I just sit on the floor and stare at my wall for hours. Hopefully every other post after this one will be optimistic and more motivating. I’ll post the brochure I’ve been working on for the diabetes campaign, cause that’s one of my short-term goals and it’ll be a huge boost to post up a finished copy. I’ll also keep you guys updated on Operation Smile and maybe everyone who reads this can come over to Jara this weekend and help out by buying something at our booth :).
Till further accomplishments, ta da.