My inner child is the title to my last 3 posts for a reason. I started out believing that my inner child was the little boy who wanted to know everything, wanted to explore the world. The little boy who wanted to know how the ice-cream he enjoys is made, how my digestive system breaks it down to produce my love handles and how the man behind the counter could spend 365 days a year scooping up a ball of strawberry-flavored to place on my cone.
I came to realize, starting last week, after the enormous amount of stress from my exams and problems scattered here and there, that my inner child is also something else. My inner child is the little boy who’s scared when the room goes dark, when his mom travels away and he’s stuck in a house by himself. My inner child is the purest of hearts, betrayed by the cunning wolf to steal his lunch basket. My inner child is the most idiotic of them all, the one who believes life comes in an assortment of rainbows, unicorns and butterflies.
For what are we but children, mere children who walk on Earth. What are we but the embryos of an ever evolving and ever developing world. Cocoons that need years to grow into butterflies, but most of us emerge with no magic dust on our wings, to fall flat on your face. Others are swiped off the Earth as worms, by chirping early birds who first get their game. Who are we to not fear what we don’t know, to not be scared of a world that is not what it seems to be.
“I do not fear anything but God.” A statement that ticks me off, really makes my blood boil. You should be scared of what you don’t know, and before you fear nothing but God, take a good look around you and figure out what you do not know. I always used to be naive, as a child, thinking I’d always know everything. Times have changed, and what we know now is but the teachings of a school boy, a young ignorant child who first learns the colors of the rainbow, not knowing that what you see is mere junk to the colors that exist.
We all should be scared of everything around us. We should all fear the dark, the light, the sky and the oceans below. We should fear our neighbors, our friends, our enemies.
The little boy, the child, the potential senior citizen should mostly fear himself, for without fear of yourself, you will never appreciate what or who you are. You will never appreciate your maker, your destroyer and the path you are on. Fear yourself to ask yourself more, to figure out more about what goes on in your brain, your mind and your body. Ask yourself, who am I? Fear not that you will perish, but that you will perish not knowing who you are.