It’s 6:35 a.m. and I’m awake. It’s always more satisfying when I share some of my thoughts online because I know that out there someone who reads this is feeling the same way and he’s smiling because someone understands him. Someone else is feeling better and he’s smiling because he’s got nothing to worry about. Someone else is feeling worse, and he’s [damn you Farah, now I give a crap] she’s out there not smiling for she sees my problems are mere trifles to her own. To each one of them I say shit happens, we’ll all learn [or should learn] to move on.
I’m at peace with myself, finally. I’m at peace with the world. I’m at peace with my family. I’m at peace with my anger, hate, regret, love, happiness, forgiveness. I’m at peace with everything because I am what I am. I have changed but not into someone I’m not, I’ve changed into the person I always saw myself as. I’ve changed, or yet I’ve gone back to Shadi. Each one of you has looked into a mirror and said, “Hey, is this really me?” Each one of you has questioned his/her identity, and each one of you has answered that question with his/her own answer. We are who we are and in my opinion the hardest question you can ever ask someone is, “Can people change?” People are people, we are who we are and deep down inside we are all good people, some of us just lose their identity along the way.
We sway to the rhythm, we go with the flow and sooner or later we end up were we don’t want to be. The day you realize who you’ve become and the day you understand that you are who you are, is the day you grow. Grow out of the cocoon of ignorance that you’ve all grown into. I don’t mean to generalize but at one point or another, we’ve all been there. I’ve looked in the mirror plenty of times and asked myself the question you’ve probably all asked yourselves, “What the hell was I thinking?” None-the-less we are mere mortals and yes, we all make mistakes. We all sway to the rhythm and we all follow the rainbow but we have yet to believe that the pot of gold is not at the end.
“I am what I am”, a phrase I’ve held deep in my heart for so many years, and yet drifted apart from for so many years. A phrase that I pass to you to cherish and understand every person you’ve ever hated, gotten angry with, had a fight with, disliked or just not gave a damn about. We are who we are and we live and die the exact same way. You can’t change who you are but you can control what you’ve become.
It’s a time to let go. It’s a time to let go of all the sadness, the hurt, the guilt, the pain. It’s a time to let go of the hate, the dislike, the fighting. It’s a time to believe that all people are good no matter what they do or say. You see a person do wrong you don’t judge him, for he may have strayed. Remember that inside you, you have also strayed, and would you like it if you were judged? “Do unto others as you would like to be done unto you.” You hate, you will be hated. You hurt, you will be hurt. It’s a time of self-recognition to who we really are, just humans. We’re all born the same, yet some unfortunate enough to be defected, some fortunate enough to be millionaires. Makes you doubt life and it’s fairness, but we’re all born for a reason.
In the past month I’ve heard so many problems from so many friends that I sometimes just feel like changing the world and helping them all out when I know I can’t possibly do everything. I don’t care what you think but I am going to change the world. Everyone one of us has the ability to change the world and everyone of us is going to change the world. The world is a big ball of string and we’re all connected. We’re all connected and we all change what this world is and is going to be. Plumbers, when you fix a broken sink, you change the world. Sweepers, when you pick that pack of cigarettes off the ground, you change the world. Architects, when you build a house, you change the world. Programmers, when you write a program to measure damages due to economic disasters, you change the world. Doctors, when you save a life, you change the world. [I don’t have enough space to write out every career in the world but you get the general gist of how this goes on], but we all change the world. A doctor’s job is not better in any way than a sweeper, and if you think that then you can leave this blog right now. Our world is one giant connected web that is spun by us, mere humans. Sure, some bits get untangled and fall apart but no such web is perfect.
I reach out to every one of you and ask you to put your troubles away, if for one day, and look only at yourself. Look at yourself and tell yourself that you are what you are, and if you don’t like what you’ve become then work on yourself. If you cannot be happy with your own self, you will make all those around you just as miserable as yourself.
Tip of the day: If you can’t seem to shake your troubles aside and think only about yourself, when you’re done with this post pick up a piece of paper, and on it write everything that’s going through in your head. Fold it, and put it aside and only read it when you’re done thinking about yourself.
We owe it to ourselves to realize who we are and not get lost in our own identities.
“I am what I am”